


You've Heard of Roach Motels Now Get Ready For.....

by Diddleydont



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Diamonds Droogs runs a hotel and Aradia is the only employee, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Supernatural Elements, eridan and feferi have transatlantic accents, shenanigans abound, the beta kids are paranormal investigators
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-19 04:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13116204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diddleydont/pseuds/Diddleydont
Summary: Aradia loves her job as the front desk clerk at her uncle's hotel. She really does. She loves hanging out with the inhabitants and practically living by herself. But she'll admit, taking care of all of the inhabitants needs can get exhausting. Especially when they're dead.





	1. Ghost Hotel

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I don't really have a lot notes, other than this chapter is almost entirely exposition. The story will get more interesting after this chapter I promise! (This is also really short, I'm sorry, other chapter will be longer) I am also really new to writing and proof-read myself so feel free to point out any errors or give me any constructive criticism! :)

At 3:10 the final bell rings, and with it comes excitement for summer break For most people that is. For Aradia Megido it means working 24/7 all summer. She waits for the rest of her class to race out of the room, before picking up her books and making it to her locker. It was mostly empty by then, but there were a few items left. She grabs her books and puts them in her book bag, sighing at her misfortune. Homework in every subject. How droll. She hears a few snicker from behind her back, and she doesn’t need to be a mind-reader to know their laughing about her. It was a small town, and she didn’t necessarily fit in, but that was okay by her, she really had no need too. She walked outside to her bike and unlocked it on the rack, it was a balmy day in early May, and the wind was stirring her hair. She pulled a ponytail off of her wrist and pulled her hair up into a messy high pony.  
She got on her bike and started pedaling to the older part of town. She made note of the colonials and victorians she passed on her way, nodding to her favorites, like one would nod to an old friend.She stopped for a second by an ancient colonial, half hidden by the trees and overtaken by the ivy that grew faster and thicker than the bubonic plague did in the 1500’s. Suddenly she felt something akin to excitement bubble up in her chest and began to pedal faster. She pedaled farther past town, and then a mile past that to an old hotel, where she stopped and swung off her bike. She looked at the hotel for a couple seconds. It’s outer appearance could only be described as oddly heart-twisting.  
It’s exterior showed to even the dullest passerby that it would have once been a magnificent place to stay, with opulent marble steps and a wrought-iron gate. Easily five stories tall, the hotel looked like a Victorian Mansion, with a turret on its left and balconies on every window. You could barely see the mineral spring room, hiding behind the bulk of the hotel, it’s glass, greenhouse-style encasing looking aged, but cared for. The paint had long since faded from the building, leaving the grand old place looking like a faded memory in the back of an elderly grandparents mind. The windows were the same since 1900, the time the building was erected, and were warped from countless summer storms and winter blizzard kicking against them.  
Aradia sighed and entered the building, dragging her bike alongside her. She pulled the door wide open and held it with her foot so she could set her bicycle in the short entrance hall. She tucked it squarely in the corner and walked into the lobby.  
The lobby still smelled of cigarette smoke, even after all these years. The furniture was probably still the same furniture that had been in the lobby when it was first opened. The only thing different was a single work phone, under the desk of the front counter. She looked up at the dusty cobwebbed overhead light above her head and made a mental list to dust it that morning. She walked up to the spiral staircase and moved upwards, towards her room. She unlocked the door to room 413 and threw her backpack down on her bed. She closed and locked her door, but not before sparing a glance to a picture of her and her mother.  
Aradia’s mother died when she was twelve. She was the town witch. When children would go trick-or-treating, their older sibling would warn them not to go to the little house on 2nd street, they’d be eaten. Those were silly rumors, and nothing more, but many children feared Aradia, just by association. The term witch was thrown around behind her back a lot as a kid. She and her uncle were the only one’s at her mother’s funeral.  
He took her in soon after that. When she turned fifteen he offered the job of looking after this place. She moved in, it was closer to school anyway, and settled into her job as front-desk girl. The place was usually dead in the summer, but the occasional guest would come and spend a night or two. But they didn’t get more than twenty guests a summer.In addition to being the front desk girl, she was also the cook, housemaid, mechanic, and janitor rolled into one. She usually left a sign at the front desk, for people to ring the bell. She cooked the continental breakfast in the morning, cleaned the mineral spring and generally tried to keep the hotel in tip-top shape.  
The best part of living in an old hotel, to her, was that it came with a library. She could bring a couple books down while she was bored, and waste some time. She had a lot of downtime when she was there. Sometimes she’d rollerskate in the ballroom, while other times she’d snoop in the attic for cool old things, until the bell in whatever room she was in would chime, signalling that someone was at the front desk. Most of the time though, she’d hang out with her best friends. That was probably the coolest part of living in a hotel.  
She heard a chime at the front desk and slid down the stair railing, so she could get there faster. She zoomed to her position to be greeted by her uncle’s smiling face.  
“Tio!” She exclaimed, jumping over the counter to give him a hug.  
“How is my favorite sobrina?” He chuckled, spinning her once for good measure.  
“Simply amazing! I was just about to go looking for some rat skeletons upstairs, wanna help?”  
“No, thank you though.” He said. “You really are your mother’s daughter, she loved anything to do with bones, and spooky stuff.”  
“I don’t mean to be spooky” She said, “It just sorta happens.” She shrugged, looking a little sad for a second.  
“I didn’t mean in bad way, Mija. You are who you are. And who you are is amazing,”  
“Yeah...I just wish the other kids at school could see that….” She trailed off.  
“Kids suck. They don’t realise the amazing people they knew in high-school until their 35 at the earliest.”  
She chuckled. “Are you going to be here this week?”  
Diamond Droogs gave her a disappointed look, “Sorry Mija, I have to be gone all week...on business.” Everyone knew Diamond Droogs was in the most feared gang in town, and Aradia was no exception.  
“Okay, do you need food before you leave again?”  
“No, do you?”  
“I’m good, but please tell Clubs Deuce I said, “Hola!’.”  
“Por Supuesto.”  
The spoke for a little longer, and Droogs, told her a dude would come by Wednesday at around 12:00 to bring food for the week. They hugged and he left. She did a couple chores around the hotel and cuddled up on oon of the chaise lounges in the lobby, ready to read her newest selection from the library, when suddenly the phone rang. Aradia checked the clock and nearly squealed with glee when she saw the time. He was always the first to wake up. She just needed to jolt him out of the loop so he could come back to his senses. She picked up the phone and held it away from her ear. Even from a foot away she could hear the panicked, blood curdling scream on the other end.  
“Please, dear god, call the police, call security, I’m being murdered in room 202. Please, dear g-AHHH” She held the receiver farther away from her face, seemingly unbothered by what the person was saying. “Please. Please don’t just stand there! Get some help!” The voice on the other end pleaded with her.  
“Tavros.” She said, almost a little bored, “You’ve been dead since 1955.”


	2. No Pets Allowed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Special Shout-Out to CJ and Irony_levels_off_the_charts for reviewing! Thank you guys so much! Well here is the first 'real' chapter, so I hope you enjoy! :)

She shut the phone off and went to bed. The next morning she woke up and checked the clock, which said five o’clock. With a smile, she threw on a change of clothes and tromped down the stairs into the kitchen.  
The kitchen was the complete opposite of the exterior of the hotel. When you walked in, you felt as though you were transported back to the 1920’s. Well if the 1920’s had modern-ish appliances. Now twenty years, continental breakfast might have been offered, but as Aradia was the only one there who could cook, breakfast was usually whatever she could find, but split into two bowls. Aradia started the stove and set a pan on the burner, planning on making a dish involving sausage, eggs, and potatoes. She got the sausage and the eggs out of the fridge and set them on the counter. She put the sausage in the pan, and walked to the pantry to get the potatoes.  
When she opened the door, she found the light bulb was broken in the food closet and groaned. She pulled out her phone and turned on her flashlight, while taking intermittent glances at her food. She heard something fall off a shelf and turned towards the noise. The potatoes. She reached down to grab one when a hand, seemingly out of thin-air, reached out and grabbed her wrist, yanking her away from the potato, and towards the face of a ghastly creature. It had had red flashing eyes, and sharp teeth whose length could only be compared to the length of the creature’s razor sharp nails. It growled and glared at Aradia, who only wrenched her hand out of the monster’s grip.  
“Nepeta! I’m making you food!” Aradia yelled, in a manner aking to one yelling at a dog begging for a morsel at the dinner table.  
“You are?” The creature stepped out of the shadows and revealed herself to be a girl of about 15, with short, choppy hair, and a dress two sizes too small.  
“Yes, do you want to help, or do you want to wait in the dining room?” Aradia asked impatiently  
“I’ll help! I’m no mooch!” Nepeta skipped through Aradia and out of the pantry to stand by the stove. “I’ll cut the potatoes.” She said with conviction.  
Of all the ghosts Aradia knew, Nepeta was the only one that actually ate. Sje figured that was because Nepeta was hungry when she died.  
“How old are you anyway?” Aradia asked.  
“Fourteen.” Nepeta replied. She was a year younger than Aradia, if that had been her actual age. Nepeta had died in 1935.  
Aradia knew this because she looked it up. She knew everyone’s death dates. She spent an entire afternoon at the town library a week after starting work there. She felt if she knew when they died she could get a better feel for what they’d need. For example, Nepeta needed food. If she wasn’t fed, she’d feed herself. With rats. Disgusting.  
A polite knock on the doorframe into the kitchen caught Aradia’s attention. Equius stood primly by the door, a fresh flower tucked into his jacket’s lapel. He died the same day as Nepeta, which Aradia figured, was why they were such good friends.  
“Good Morning, Mrs. Megido.” He said cheerfully, whilst walking into the room. He pulled the flower out of the lapel and gave it to Aradia, a thin sheen of sweat appearing on his forehead. As she accepted the flower, his eyes slid to Nepeta, who not-so-subtly nodded her head encouragingly.  
“W-Will you be staying the entire summer?” He asked, voice wavering, almost as much as his incorporeal form.  
“Of course! Just like last summer!” Aradia replied, grabbing the sliced potatoes and throwing them in the bowl. “Nepeta, go make sure everyone’s awake.”  
“I’m on it!” Nepeta hopped up and floated upwards, ghostly residue leaving a slight stain on the ceiling.  
Aradia smiled and shook her head a little as she added the eggs to the dish. “School’s over until September. I’m super psyched to get to spend time with you guys!” She told Equius, who was hovering over her shoulder.  
“I don’t know why you call it that. Waking us up? We’re dead. We don’t sleep.” He contemplated aloud, ignoring her statement entirely.  
“Y’know how sometimes you guys seem to get stuck? Like when Nepeta walks into the lobby and she’s like super filthy and gross and is like ‘Do you have an extra room? Please I have nowhere else to go.’ I call that being in a loop.”  
He looked confused for a second, and tilted his head. “She does that?”  
Aradia set her spatula down and turned to look at Equius. “You’ve never seen it?”  
“No, that is quite worrying.”  
“You all do it. You’ve really never seen anyone here get caught in a loop?”  
Equius shook his head.  
“Well,” she continued awkwardly, “Sometimes, when I’m not here, you guys repeat your loops and kinda…” She trailed off.  
“Your food is done.” He said quietly.  
“Shoot!” She turned and grabbed the pan, putting food into the two bowls on the other side of the counter. She grabbed a forks and stabbed one into each bowl. “Thanks, Eq. Anyway you guys kinda go dormant. Like you fell asleep, and you’re sleepwalking. When I get here I ‘wake’ you up.”  
“How often does this happen?”  
“Not often, usually. I was gone the last two weeks though, so a lot of you went dormant. I’m surprised that you and Nepeta were awake, if I’m gonna be honest.”  
“Oh.”  
They walked into the dinning room, to find that most everyone was there, floating in their usual chairs. Aradia set a bowl down in front of Nepeta. Some inhabitants prefered to doze until noon. Gamzee was around there somewhere but he didn’t really commune with the other ghosts. He stayed up in the attic and really only spoke to her. He was a little unsettling, but in a cool way. She was never sure how old, or from what time he came from.  
She sat down in her favorite spot, right in between Sollux and Feferi. She smiled and looked at the two, Sollux almost comically dressed up in early nineties fashion, from his oversized, over-patterned sweater and bright yellow biker shorts, to his neon windbreaker and mismatched air-jordans. He nodded his head, not looking up from the gameboy in his hand, in acknowledgement.  
“How are you Sollux?,” Feferi blurted out, just as Aradia reached her seat.  
“Dead, FF. What about you?” He replied  
She sighed and Aradia noticed her face was flushed. Aradia assumed that Feferi had a crush on Sollux. Feferi died sometime in the 1920’s, back when mineral springs were still ‘hip.’ She drowned in the pool, which meant her hair was perpetually wet, and when she walked down the hallways you could hear the water dripping off of her hair and onto the hardwood floor beneath her. Aradia felt something twist in her stomach, and quietly ignored it. Feferi opened her mouth to speak.  
“Feferi, that dimestore cowboy isn’t worth your trouble.” Eridan said haughtily from his floating position above the chair, his military uniform looking freshly starched.  
“How the hell do you even have a uniform, you’re seventeen? Was Uncle Sam really desperate enough to draft minors in World War two?” Sollux shot back. Eridan opened his mouth to speak, but Sollux interrupted. “Wait. I meant that rhetorically. I really don’t want to have to listen to you make noise again. In fact-” Sollux became intangible and slipped through the floor. Eridan looked like he would shoot anyone that moved.  
“Sollux can be temperamental, sometimes.” Aradia said in no one’s direction in particular.  
“Ugh!” Karkat heaved a sigh of exasperation. “I’ll go check on him.” As he stood up and made for wherever Sollux had gone, he stopped and looked at the room. “Where’s Kanaya, Vriska, and Terezi?”  
Aradia looked around. It wasn’t unusual for Terezi and Vriska to laze around until after breakfast. Although for Kanaya to be late was worrisome. Kanaya was always up pretty early. How did Aradia miss Kanaya’s absence? Her eyes slid to Feferi for a second, before feeling that stomach turning sensation again and turned away.  
A chime rang, indicating that the bell in the lobby had rung.  
“Quick! Hide!” She yelled to the group, and ran to the lobby. She sprinted into the lobby and saw four kids from her class. The kid who somehow got away with wearing sunglasses during school. Dave, she thought, was his name. Jade the nice girl who started the recycling club was also there, with her cousin/housemate John. And most unfortunately, Rose Lalonde was there.  
Aradia hated Rose Lalonde with a passion. She remembered when they were little and Rose pushed her and called her creepy on the playground. More importantly, when they were in seventh grade, and Rose decided she was some ‘goffic witch’ a la Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and tried to strike up a conversation about how terrible moms could be. Aradia wasn’t really interested in being a part of that. Her mom was great, why should she care that Rose’s wasn’t?  
“We’d like to rent a room and investigate rumors of hauntings in the hotel.” John spoke up and Aradia inwardly groaned. She forgot those four were wannabe ghostbusters.  
“Get out.” Aradia deadpanned.  
“B-But-” John started, face falling.  
“No. We refuse the right to serve to anyone.” Aradia hoped that wasn’t an exclusive thing that only restaurants could say.  
“What’s the harm in-” Jade started, when a large, white dog bounded into the lobby and ran straight for and then through the doors leading outside. The ‘Ghostbusters’ went chasing right after him.  
“And no dogs either!” Aradia screamed, slamming the door just as quickly as they could run out of it. She moved back to the front desk and placed her head in her hands and sighed. The hotel’s occupants might have been the most ornery people she has ever had to work for, they were her friends, and she’d be darned if any of them were forced to move on before they wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! For clairification's sake, Eridan is a WWII, it was common for boys to lie about their age when volunteering, and Eridan seems like just the kinda guy to do that.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so the spanish translations are as follows:  
> Tio- Uncle  
> Sobrina- Niece  
> Mija- A term of endearment like sweetie or dear  
> Por Supesto- Of course
> 
> Also did anyone get the joke? Roach Motel. Ghost Hotel? Anyone? At least I amused myself. Feel free to review! :)


End file.
